A dad is born... Again

Life has come a full circle in a short span of 5 years (boy it does seem a long time) when I got married to Paddu, whom I came to knowing only after the marriage was fixed (typical Indian style) and we had no definitive detailed plans of the future. The first transformation in our lives was when I was reborn as a dad (please read the first "a dad is born") and four years later I am born again as a dad. I thought that things would be different this time now that I have experience. But always the Universe conspired against me to make me happy in its own way. The waiting filled the time for the last few days. In anticipation of our second child, I finally stopped procrastinating and bought a car without knowing how to drive it. so off to car driving school to fill that competency gap. Then in the last month of pregnancy, I drop Paddu, my best half and

Prataparudhra, the apple of my eye at her mother's home in Mumbai while I stayed put in Pune. Please trust me this was her decision. I did not decide that. I fought that decision of hers, but like always she could win me over with impeccable logic-tis warmer in Mumbai during the winter months. My son is excited that he would get a baby brother(Could not understand why not sister?). Maire my colleague and friend wagers that because of all my sins in this birth, I will be blessed with another boy who will also make me dance to his tunes. The good doctor advices Caesarian again. But this time we have the luxury of deciding dates and this was a bad luxury as it turned out since the universe again conspired to rip apart our perfect plan for a birth on a perfect date (by the alignment of stars and planets). The doctor could not fit on said date and gave us 7th Jan 2012 as an option. By this time I had enough of star, planetary alignment from every other quack-anstronomers and their dog that I said YES. 7th is good. So  drive  down to Mumbai on my classic 500. You can start sniggering. The ass has a car and he went by motorcycle. You see sniggering people, this was a reconnaissance trip to learn the route from my home to my in-laws' home and Mumbai being what it is, a mayhem of people, I ventured to go by bike. I get my Paddu admitted in hospital and Through the evening and into the night I kept reassuring my son that Mamma is alright, she will be coming home soon, you will be taking care of the new baby and all the bullshit. I guess he realized that too because he said, take me with you to the hospital and promptly went to sleep. Then dawn came rosy cheeked and awoke me. I get ready and go to the hospital and wait for the doc.

1. The anesthesiologist comes 

2. The doctor comes.

3. my best half is rolled into the OT

4. The door is shut on my face. The good doctor refuses to let me stand

in the OT and after some time the pediatrician goes into the OT.

5. I grab 40 winks when I hear a new born baby's banshee scream

6. I run to the OT door waiting expectantly with my in-laws thinking the door would open now and I will get a bundle of joy in my hands.

7. Bloody universe still conspiring.

8. Not knowing what to do, I start to bang my head rhythmically on the door hoping then at least some on will take notice that people are awaiting, but none of this could melt their heart of stone.

9. All this time I could hear the baby screaming and screaming.

10. 50 Minutes later, the door opens and a nurse comes out to say - pay the anesthesiologist. I draw my last reserves of patience and ask in a rising crescendo how is the mother, how is the baby. Is it a boy or girl? Thank you very much. 

11. The good anesthesiologist comes out and tells us- baby girl, mom and baby are fine. We have a princess. We have a princess. Prataparudhra would be disappointed, but he would come over it.

After the euphoria settled, I went in search of the nurse who was the target of my anger and apologized, the arrival of my princess will not be marred by anger and hard feelings. The pediatrician comes to us gives us the baby stats. I thank her profusely and look at her expectantly like a little boy standing in the line for candy. She sees me and tells me to go in and pick my princess. I did not need to be told again. I ran in and took the little bundle which packs a whopping amount of joy and she yawned, she yawned in my hands. That did it and the dam broke and I let the tears of joy flow. Flow I said, na they were running like the godavari and krishna rivers and would not stop.My in laws were now used to seeing me with my eyes running rivers. I put her gently on the bed and kept staring at her. She opened her eyes, saw me(:P saw me) and went back to sleep again. I crooned some thing to her, tucked her wrap around her as she slept

This is not exactly the best of a post rather it is just rambling running thoughts that are still running through my mind.
So what will we name her -
This time my paddu did not let me choose names from History, so I turned to faith and belief in the hindu pantheon of goddesses and came up with two names; one starting with K and the other with T. We ran into a disagreement with regards to the name and so we are doing a blind voting  with the members of the family. Dear reader, I will come up with the name which won through the voting. 


8Th jan 2012:
the voting results are out. "T" won hands down. The universe conspired against us to make us happy yet again. So what is the name we chos? This is my blog and I will script it out my way. I looked at history again to give me a name for my princess and a princess needs a queenly name, but paddu stumps me and says "why not a godly name" so I fall back on my second object of intense reading, Ancient Indian thought and philosophy. This sphere of reading took me not just through Indian philosophy, but also Tibetan and Mahayana philosophy. I felt that since my super god is Lord Rudhra after whom I named my Son, I will name my daughter after my super godess, the MOTHER. By this time I had read Aghora by Dr. Svaboda quite a few times and two names stuck out as a strong affliation to the great MOTHER- Kundalini and Tara. The voting decided Tara as the name. The goddess Chinna Mastha Smashana Tara is the great mother who directs the soul towards moksha or oneness with GOD. So my princess will henceforth be called Tara after the great MOTHER.


Cheers

A Dad is born

Note: This post is moderated by my wife.

Days of waiting are finally over. We have been promoted to be parents.

Prelude: In April 2007 we had been married since 6 months and we were going for our much needed holiday at the end of May and my wife springs a surprise on me "We are not going. Cancel our tickets". I am surprised since I am the one always asking to cancel plans. And she gives it to me on a platter - "we are going to be parents". Wow thats a cracker of a surprise. I felt as if I had a few tots of Rum and I am on a high. That euphoria lasted a few months and the period of anticipation/expectation had started.

Nov 27 2007: Start date for us to be ready says the good doctor. So everyday visit to the doc or was it alternate days. Forgive me since I am still euphoric. Days pass and we cross December 11th still no baby. I am mighty worried for my wife and the child. The doctor is hapless "mother is not yet ready, but the baby is ready to come into this world. We will wait". Now what is that supposed to mean. I ask that to the good doctor and he gives me a few doctory jargons. Note them down, google them, ask my doctor friends and then try to get the meaning that the doctor wanted to convey. But trust me that did not alleviate my tension. On the contrary, the tension became all the more palpable. And then yet another doctor visit, a stress test and the baby decided he/she has had enough of dark places. The good Dottore advises "Caesarian" and now I am in my elements, I decide in 5 minutes and say, if you are ready to operate now, I am ok with it. No muhurat (Good time) for me, my wife and baby are more important. In goes the mom. argue with the good doc and said I want to be with my wife. Relenting to my stubbornness he lets me stand behind a curtain behind my wife. He warns me that it is not a pretty site. Like I care.

15 minutes pass by and no news yet. And suddenly bawls my kid, I yet don't know if its a boy or a girl. Hmmmmmp like I care. My first instinct, check wife, check kid and then sit down and cry, yes cry. Tears of Joy came running down.

I have just shown my wife this post and she sends me flying kisses.

By the way what is this post about?
Reams and reams have been written about how women change to mothers, the feelings that change run through them. I am going to write about what runs through me now at this moment sitting watch over our prince.
I am over-whelmed just sitting and watching him get comfy and sleep, sleep and sleep.

Now I know how it should feel like a dad. In days of yore (i.e. when we were born); in India, more often than not, the dads would not be there to see our birth. But I am glad that I decided to chuck that custom/tradition/practice or whatever else you call it. But I have a mighty problem on hand. My wifey can go on and on and describe how she feels about been a mom (But in actuality saying nothing), but I cannot even do that. But still I will try to express in words what emotions ran through me.
Moment 1: Baby is born - Concern for wife and baby and how are they doing. I know Baby is fine because he is bawling
Moment 2: Allowed to meet my wife - Contentment and a deep sigh of relief. Poor thing she has been through a lot of turmoil in her mind when the doc says she is not ready.
Moment 3: See my son - I see him and call him Rajakumara (Sanskrit for Prince and the moniker stuck). We are yet to name him. Rajakumara is just the first word that came to me when I saw him first.
Moment 4: I envelope my son in my hands. - My kid wraps my shirt lapels in his baby finger and opens his eyes at me. The flood gates open & tears of joy come running

These are the four discrete moments that I could recollect.

What are we calling him? What name do we give him?
There is a quaint tradition of ours which allows us to give three names to the baby, two are soon forgotten. I cannot say why the three, but it makes sense, One name by the parents, one by the paternal grand-parents and one by the maternal grand parents. And the name given by the parents is the one used always. So what is the name? Patience dear reader, this is my blog. So we had to decide on two names. Why two? We did not know the gender of the baby. They would not tell us and I did not want to know. So one name if the baby were to be a girl and the other if he were to be a boy. The name with which my rajakumara, my prince will henceforth be called is PratapaRudhra. Pratap means valour and Rudhra is the super God. (Wait for a theological post on what this super-God business is). So PratapaRudhra means the over-lord of valour. A prince should have a name fit for a King!!!

Where did I pick this name from?
Where else but from my hobby - Indian History. PratapRudhra was a mid-dynasty king of the Kakatiyas in South India.

Here are a few Links for those interested in history
http://prabhu.50g.com/southind/kakatiya/south_kakatiya.html
http://www.cambridge.org/catalogue/catalogue.asp?isbn=9780521254847
http://www.hinduonnet.com/thehindu/br/2003/03/04/stories/2003030400100300.htm

How do I pronounce the name?
Pr-a-ta-pa-Ru-dh-ra

Pr as in 'Price'
a as in 'a-round'
ta as in 'tar'
pa as in 'europa'
Ru as in 'Rumour'
dh as in "Dharma'
ra as in "era"

Now say it all once, Easy isn't it. :)

Ciao.