The corona home care diaries

Disclaimer: This is not an expert advice but a written down version of an experience. So do tax your brains and use your judgement

I was not in the best of minds after losing a couple of friends to covid-19 and learning that a few more people I know are affected by Covid-19. Then the shock wave hit me with the knowledge of Best half and my children being affected by covid. Soon I had 3 very (but not serious condition) ill people at home and I was spared the infection. The onus fell on me to handle a situation that was at once scary and laborious. In such times, one turns towards kith and kin for comfort and succour; but from that direction only despair and doomsday messages were forthcoming. Not very helpful. One even sent a meme of a drowning person and a bystander suggesting to keep the spirits high. So with a first step (after rolling the sleeves), I plunged into covid home management. Through the days a few close friends kept watch over me. Just that they called or messaged me was enough to keep the spirit high.They even addressed my sense of humour. More I could not ask of them. I did not inform parents or close relatives about what has transpired. My mom would have taken another upavasam to make the gods suffer for my trouble. So, what do you do when corona hits home and you are the caretaker? Some learning and a lot of wisdom I learnt which I think can help. 

1. You need help and assistance. ASK and if needed pay. You cannot do this alone. Stop trying to be a hero. Heroes of this kind get people killed.
   
2. Stop being a jerk, get everyone at home tested and not just the ones showing symptoms 
3. Stop trying to figure out how they got infected. You will NOT find the answer. Even if you do, you might not like the answer.
   
4. Consult a doctor. No! Your internet search and forwarded info on whatsapp is not research. it is stupidity. Consult point #1.
   
5. Prepare a airy bright room with comforts (preferably with attached bathroom) like a laptop, wifi access, books for the infected people to isolate without feeling left out.
6. Quit whatsapp groups. Most of them dont help you when you need it. Even after you tell folks on it to stop sending doomsday msgs, criticism of country's handlng of covid, memes of bad taste; you are bombarded by them. If you are glutton for punishment, stay on. 
7. Stop following twitter, face book or what ever is your poison
8. Lock the liquor cabinet and throw the key; you don't have the luxury of going into a drunk stupor.
   
9. Get a lot of sanitizer.
10. Stock up on emergency foods and caffeine. 
11. Get a good quality thermometer and oxy-meter (your doctor will advice you to). Remember there is a difference between inexpensive and cheap. Choose your side carefully. You want to be sure of the reading.
12. Once you have the above two equipment; learn how to use them and understand the readings as advised by your doctor and not by your internet search or whatsapp university study. Stop being a jerk.
    
13. Don't stock oxygen, medicines unless told to do so.  It was quite difficult getting my hands on medicines since people without any issues were buying them handful at a time. You are an abominable waste of a human specimen if you hoard medication.
    
14. If possible get food delivered home. Not from a restaurant but from a home caterer. You would need a balanced diet too and not just fat and protein.
    
15. Keep washing used dishes. It is easier to manage a limited quantity of dishes than doing so in bulk.
    
16. Keep washing those clothes and sheets
17. Be hygienic and wash yourself too. A two day veshti is bad news.
    
18. You are not infected; you are not in isolation; so wear that damn mask all the time. It will not kill you and will also not make your mouth resemble a pithecanthropus. In case that is your primary worry; it is worth to your family to be rid of you.
19. When you get a break - sleep. Dont play selfie-selfie or some thing else with digital equipment. No you don't need stress busters. You will need sleep and rest.
    
20. Work can wait or will be done by some else. Call your manager or skip level and explain the situation and why you cannot attend to your employment obligations.
    
21. At this point, you family needs you full time. So much that you will have forgotten if you have had food.
22. Happiness comes in small sizes. Become a alpa-santoshi. Celebrate small things, laugh at idiot jokes. What ever helps you smile you through the day - do that
    

This event in life taught and reinforced the belief that the collective is stupid and a few wise people are the reason I want to continue existence. To these few people I do a "naked head respect showing" i.e. नतमस्तक नमन

1. A big thank you to my colleagues and  team members who ensured that I will not be missed and took on my employment obligations in addition to their own
   
2. A big thank you to Soni, Kunju Sane, Renu and Karan, Babu bhai who kept messaging, calling, delivering stuff  to me through my days. Everyone SHOULD have the friends like I do.
3. A big thank you to Dr. Sonali and Dr. Vijay Laxmi, our doctor who nagged me to keep sending signs of life in the form of daily temparature and oxygen level readings.
   
4. A big thank you to Suchita, the pharmacy lady who made sure that I did not fall short of medicines (although they were delayed by a dosage). Some way or other she made sure we got the medicines.
5. A big thank you to Sonali, the person who ensured we never stayed hungry.
   

A dad is born... Again

Life has come a full circle in a short span of 5 years (boy it does seem a long time) when I got married to Paddu, whom I came to knowing only after the marriage was fixed (typical Indian style) and we had no definitive detailed plans of the future. The first transformation in our lives was when I was reborn as a dad (please read the first "a dad is born") and four years later I am born again as a dad. I thought that things would be different this time now that I have experience. But always the Universe conspired against me to make me happy in its own way. The waiting filled the time for the last few days. In anticipation of our second child, I finally stopped procrastinating and bought a car without knowing how to drive it. so off to car driving school to fill that competency gap. Then in the last month of pregnancy, I drop Paddu, my best half and

Prataparudhra, the apple of my eye at her mother's home in Mumbai while I stayed put in Pune. Please trust me this was her decision. I did not decide that. I fought that decision of hers, but like always she could win me over with impeccable logic-tis warmer in Mumbai during the winter months. My son is excited that he would get a baby brother(Could not understand why not sister?). Maire my colleague and friend wagers that because of all my sins in this birth, I will be blessed with another boy who will also make me dance to his tunes. The good doctor advices Caesarian again. But this time we have the luxury of deciding dates and this was a bad luxury as it turned out since the universe again conspired to rip apart our perfect plan for a birth on a perfect date (by the alignment of stars and planets). The doctor could not fit on said date and gave us 7th Jan 2012 as an option. By this time I had enough of star, planetary alignment from every other quack-anstronomers and their dog that I said YES. 7th is good. So  drive  down to Mumbai on my classic 500. You can start sniggering. The ass has a car and he went by motorcycle. You see sniggering people, this was a reconnaissance trip to learn the route from my home to my in-laws' home and Mumbai being what it is, a mayhem of people, I ventured to go by bike. I get my Paddu admitted in hospital and Through the evening and into the night I kept reassuring my son that Mamma is alright, she will be coming home soon, you will be taking care of the new baby and all the bullshit. I guess he realized that too because he said, take me with you to the hospital and promptly went to sleep. Then dawn came rosy cheeked and awoke me. I get ready and go to the hospital and wait for the doc.

1. The anesthesiologist comes 

2. The doctor comes.

3. my best half is rolled into the OT

4. The door is shut on my face. The good doctor refuses to let me stand

in the OT and after some time the pediatrician goes into the OT.

5. I grab 40 winks when I hear a new born baby's banshee scream

6. I run to the OT door waiting expectantly with my in-laws thinking the door would open now and I will get a bundle of joy in my hands.

7. Bloody universe still conspiring.

8. Not knowing what to do, I start to bang my head rhythmically on the door hoping then at least some on will take notice that people are awaiting, but none of this could melt their heart of stone.

9. All this time I could hear the baby screaming and screaming.

10. 50 Minutes later, the door opens and a nurse comes out to say - pay the anesthesiologist. I draw my last reserves of patience and ask in a rising crescendo how is the mother, how is the baby. Is it a boy or girl? Thank you very much. 

11. The good anesthesiologist comes out and tells us- baby girl, mom and baby are fine. We have a princess. We have a princess. Prataparudhra would be disappointed, but he would come over it.

After the euphoria settled, I went in search of the nurse who was the target of my anger and apologized, the arrival of my princess will not be marred by anger and hard feelings. The pediatrician comes to us gives us the baby stats. I thank her profusely and look at her expectantly like a little boy standing in the line for candy. She sees me and tells me to go in and pick my princess. I did not need to be told again. I ran in and took the little bundle which packs a whopping amount of joy and she yawned, she yawned in my hands. That did it and the dam broke and I let the tears of joy flow. Flow I said, na they were running like the godavari and krishna rivers and would not stop.My in laws were now used to seeing me with my eyes running rivers. I put her gently on the bed and kept staring at her. She opened her eyes, saw me(:P saw me) and went back to sleep again. I crooned some thing to her, tucked her wrap around her as she slept

This is not exactly the best of a post rather it is just rambling running thoughts that are still running through my mind.
So what will we name her -
This time my paddu did not let me choose names from History, so I turned to faith and belief in the hindu pantheon of goddesses and came up with two names; one starting with K and the other with T. We ran into a disagreement with regards to the name and so we are doing a blind voting  with the members of the family. Dear reader, I will come up with the name which won through the voting. 


8Th jan 2012:
the voting results are out. "T" won hands down. The universe conspired against us to make us happy yet again. So what is the name we chos? This is my blog and I will script it out my way. I looked at history again to give me a name for my princess and a princess needs a queenly name, but paddu stumps me and says "why not a godly name" so I fall back on my second object of intense reading, Ancient Indian thought and philosophy. This sphere of reading took me not just through Indian philosophy, but also Tibetan and Mahayana philosophy. I felt that since my super god is Lord Rudhra after whom I named my Son, I will name my daughter after my super godess, the MOTHER. By this time I had read Aghora by Dr. Svaboda quite a few times and two names stuck out as a strong affliation to the great MOTHER- Kundalini and Tara. The voting decided Tara as the name. The goddess Chinna Mastha Smashana Tara is the great mother who directs the soul towards moksha or oneness with GOD. So my princess will henceforth be called Tara after the great MOTHER.


Cheers

Dadhood and how- handling child's ill health

I am going to start this post with a rant against GOD. Why did you create illness along with angels? Why for God's  sake why? When my son becomes ill, I am not sure who is affected more; him or us, his  parents. Why GOD why? Were it not suffice you that we appreciate the beauty of your creations as is? Why? why? why?

I am not sure if I am not able to handle my child's ill health or does his ill-health disable me. I become so disoriented and lost that nothing gets done by me and even if I try I make a mess. But I learnt something in this ordeal - "You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance and how much patience I can reap more". I proudly acknowledge that I have become more patient with him. When he was ill and blasted duty beckoned to me every morning, I was torn apart and wished I could be at both places at the same time. I am reminded of Golda meir - "At work, you think of the children you have left at home. At home, you think of the work you've left unfinished. Such a struggle is unleashed within yourself. Your heart is rent". A struggle which I much desire to leave, but alas cannot.  During his ill-health days. Anxiety is your friend and does not leave your side-couple my anxiety with my wife's and I have many ill-friends at that moment. The day is spent with ministering medicines and watch him scowl first and then bawl with dislike due to the taste. Further anxiety since his appetite is ruined with the medicine intake and feeding him is a session in pain and sound. Pain because I have to force feed him, sound because he bawls with every mouthful. After a couple of bites he does not want more and spits out stuff pushed in. You collect that, keep it aside and try with another morsel. Keep repeating it till the discarded pile is big enough to frustrate you. Why God why? I keep looking forward to his being better again driving me mad with his cyclonic destruction of peace and order. Blessed indeed am I that when I reach home, Prataprudhra beams me a smile, reaches for me desiring me to pick him up and gives me his cheek to kiss.

Give a little to love a child, and you get a great deal back

Dadhood and how - Managing my son

As a father I soon realized that taking care of my son is not so easy matter after all. Doing it helped me understand how Padma, my wife abstract it from me day in day out. My hats of to every mother out there who does the same and to every dad who manages to do it. My son is a cuddly tyke and cyclone mingled into one. A week ago my wife took to the sick bed and what with the swine flu scare in Pune and the rains playing havoc with my son. He took to common cold. The ten days she was recovering from illness I was pinned at home. No working from home either. It was taking care of wife and kid. Those ten days showed me what housekeeping is with a cyclone in your midst. I admit I failed miserably in the attempt. All ten days i was feeling something or the other beneath my feet - biscuits, water, dosa, bread, grains, vessels, toys, clothes and lot more knick knacks. Cleaning will ensure that you only get more. I thought selling cigarettes, bar tending was back breaking work but actually they are nothing compared to taking care of your son. Oof! my back still hurts with the cleaning, picking up things, stopping him from throwing things out of the balcony. A few days back he threw a new bottle of oil out and I could only helplessly watch it fall and break; thankfully not on anybody's head. I did not know his timetable and wifey dear was out of commission to help me out and so it was all trial and error. Early morning milk ,10 AM breakfast cereal or cerelac, 1 PM lunch (typical south Indian) 4 PM - fruit, 6 PM evening milk, 9:00 PM - dinner only chappati (unleavened bread) mind you and nothing else. 11 PM bed time milk. For all these things you have to sit with him. Especially feeding him solids - he will take a bite and start goofing about, try to catch him, he skips and gives you a sly smile. Get hold of him it is all shrill thunder tearing my ears asunder. At bath time, it is a pleasure to watch him play with water and a frustration to get him away from the secrets inside the commode. But all of these frustrations vanish when he sleeps in your arms and when there is a draught blowing in, he curls and snuggles in my arms, I can only let the dam break and tears fall on their own. Tears of happiness.
He is yet to start talking and my wife is worried that he might have a talking problem or a listening problem, but I know (and I also know that I can never convince my wife) that he is alright because he responds to me quite well. He throws liquid down, I ask him to mop it up and he goes to the laundry, gets the mop cloth and mops the floor (not properly though). Before marriage I thought I had a theory about bringing up our child, after marriage, I have a child and no theory at all. I realise that raising kids by theories and philosophies is a big mistake.
Once Padma complained that Arudhra ignores her and I remembered Ogden Nash's opinion "Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, And that's what parents were created for" (Parents, 1933). When I dared mention it to her, all I got in return was being transparent to her for some time. In these ten days I was exasperated by him often but once I could take it no more and I gave him a rap on his bum with my palm. Boy did it hurt (me I mean to do it). The guilt haunts the living daylights out of me. Next time and everytime I am inclined to raise my hand again on him I will remember this quote "Never raise your hands to your kids. It will leave your groin unprotected". It pays for you to remember the same.

Dadhood and how - Part Tres: Happy birthday Prataparudhra

Its 13th December. The day our son was born. An year flew past me in a flurry of watching our son growing. I bet every parent feels an over-whelming happiness which consumes everything else. Work pressure, traffic, discord; everything is transformed into happiness. I am reminded of a quote by Salinger J D which goes thus.

"I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy"

Marcus Aurelius put it in a very simple line "Very little is needed to make a happy life."

That "little" is my son, my prince, my Prataparudhra.

One year passed and he transformed from a sleeping bundle of joy to a hyper energy propelled naughty, inquisitive, attention seeking, full of mirth reason for happiness. The image created for his birthday show all of these attributes. He drives his mother crazy with his zeal for exploring below the kitchen sink, the bathroom drains etc. Anytime one of us go out the front door, he is to be taken else we are driven insane by his high voltage, high decibel rebellion.

All our frustration, anger, irritation is lost in a jiffy when he beams his angelic smile. What more shall I tell you. He has a lot of toys but they are no good if they are not in his parent's hands. He wants only those things which we use - cups, glasses, spoons etc. He has discovered sound. Sound made by banging pots and pans. All day he goes bang, bang, ting, ting, trang bang......

In the risk of quoting Marco Polo again and again - "What more shall I tell ?" I risk re-writing Schiller's 'Ode to joy'

The cup of joy brimmeth,
But never spills,
As kith and kin share,
And are joyful for us.

Prataparudhra, the apple of my eye,
Watches with wary eyes,
All those who greet him,
And bless him.

Smiles at everyone
Who comes to see him
Wanting them to come again
And cuddle him

Rudhra
after whom you are named
keeps goddesses Strife and Fury
at bay

You are our happiness
which we share and spread
like the sun god spreads
warmth and light.

Dadhood and How Part Deux

Part one of this series is at "Dadhood and How"

Suddenly yesterday I realised that my son is all of 7months now and has started his eighth month. Time has flown by I never noticed. Cuddling him every day I would feel the effect of happiness (sometimes preceded by despair) flowing through me. You might ask how despair? well some days he just goes yaan! yaan! yaan! for hours together and a few times into the night. What ever you do, there is no solace for him and he goes yaan! yaan! to yyyyaaaaaaaaaaannn! If this does not drive you to despair what will? And then you get a brain wave and you do something right and he just sleeps in your arm and you feel the happiness flowing through you. I sang to him a couple of times and he actually liked my voice. I crooned and he went to sleep in my arms. I was worried that if I laid him in the crib he would awaken I slept in the armchair with him in the crook of my arm. The emotions welled in me and I went to sleep with a happy mind. Waking up every joint creaked but the mind was fresh and the heart was well hearty!!!

To take him out for walks we bought a pram for him. And he just loves it. Only thing during his walks he stares at people who want to cuddle him during. He does not like it one bit if somebody pinches his cheeks and says "choo chweet". But bring him back from his walk and you see his happiness to remain in the pram

This is the exact stare that he has on his walks.
A few days now he is enjoying all the attention at his granny's place and I am left forlorn without him. (my wife teases me that I am more forlorn without him than her).

Does anyone out there know why my baby doesn't like clothes??? Beats me. I tried to clothe him and with the amount of writhing he does we can churn butter out of milk. But anyways the ordeal starts with putting on his nappy/diaper. He would stay on his back and so I hold him with my left hand and diaper him up with my right. That is right all ye women out there, I have actually mastered one handed diarpering a baby. But he likes it not one bit. After the diaper, the shorts/trousers/pants are a cake walk. Then starts the real trouble his shirt/vest.

1. I nimbly put in one of his hands into the shirt.
2. Then for the next one. He holds it ramrod stiff in the air.
3. So I remove the first hand and put it in the second one (the one that is stiff).
4. He knows me by now and the first hand goes stiff. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
5. So start from beginning again.
6. But now I am crooning to him.
7. So in goes the first one
8. He is very happy listening to me that he forgets to stiffen his other hand.
   
9. Before he realises it, the other hand is in and the shirt is buttoned up.
10. Then he knows that he is all clothed up.
    
11. Resigns to the fact and he is all y gumdrops.

Somedays he just exasperates his mother so much that she decides it is a crime for me to be so happy all alone and she plunks him on my hands. Even if I am sleeping. This has happened a few times enough to make me an expert with him playing in my hands and me sleeping soundly. (Tongue out to all those EXPERT mothers).

He likes me talking to him in adult language (not baby talk) see his expressions
What do I talk to him about. I ask him how he has troubled his mom during the day. Did he do this? Did he do that? I tell him about my day. During this time you should see the expression on my wife's face. She has stopped asking me "how was your day" after getting repeatedly grunts and hrrmphs, huh! huh! and many such primitive expressions from me.

I actually well up with pride when my wife says "Sometimes you are a better parent than me". "SOMETIMES" I ask. EVERYTIME I assert. Her answer to this is an irritating TONGUE OUT.

Oh! I almost forgot to mention, he loves water.
You can watch the slide show here.

Dadhood and how

You read the precursor Post "A Dad is born"

My Cutie pie, my Rudhravatar, My Prataparudhra. Thats my son sleeping contended and happy. Seeing him sleep gives me a lot of pleasure and happiness. What more can a man ask when his child smiles and bids adieu every morning and welcomes you back with a smile after a hard day's toil. I did not believe my sis when she used to say "All frustrations are washed away by the divine smile of your child". Now I understand what she meant. If any day Rudhra my son does not smile and bid me adieu, I feel down in the dumps. I was hoping that we would have our child atleast 2 years after our marriage, but God and nature decided otherwise. Please!!! I am not complaining. Its just a fact.
He pouts, he cries, he bawls, he scratches and he has a mighty kick. At least one every day when I lift him up to burp him. Of late his cries have turned a notch higher in the pitch. they come out as a shriek. And the fact that he mouths a lot of shrieks before going to sleep is making it difficult to ascertain if he is crying or communicating (Is there a difference). My wife is very good at understanding what each kind of shriek means and what does it communicate. I am learning. for example

1. Hand in mouth and creating sounds - Nothing much but just pacifying himself. Check if he has colic. If no then relax. My granny says he is communicating with the gods.
2. Turn around on his belly and try lift his head and shriek. This depends on when he had his last feeding. If he had a belly full and does this then it is a sign of happiness and contentment. Otherwise it means, stop fooling around and give me some food and put me to sleep. Any delay in this process means - high pitched angry shrieks and scratches and kicks. I learnt it the hard way.
3. near tears crying - usually means very hungry. Mujhe Khana Do. You can see him bawling.

For more videos visit Them here. When he cries I cry because I cannot bear to see him cry. The other day my wife had a tough time consoling me. We went to the good doc for his vaccination and When the doc used the injection syringe a high pitched cry emanated from him and I could not stand it. This was the first time I had seen it live. A few minutes later he stopped crying, but I would not. I held him close and would not give him to my wife to console. All through the journey back I could not stop the tears from flowing.

Watching him play is another joy. he keeps flexing his arms and legs and then slowly goes to sleep. Oh! what joy in watching little things.

He bawls, He cries,
He kicks and scratches
But I won't complain since
he is my bundle of joy.

Made in the Image of God
To rule over our lives
And makes changes galore
to our life style
But I won't complain since
he is my bundle of joy.

A prince among people
A king who lords over others
The slightest wish needs to be fulfilled
But I won't complain since
he is my bundle of joy.

Night or day is the same for him
Tis matter not if it is different for us
All that matters is my Prince, my king.
My PRATAPARUDHRA, the lord of valour.

There are times when exhilaration strikes you. One such time was when Rudhra turned over when I was watching and I could capture that. Enjoy the videos below.

Start the operation


Finished Turning


And the glee after that.




What more Can one ask for? Watching your child grow I suppose is one of the greatest happiness ever .