The corona home care diaries

Disclaimer: This is not an expert advice but a written down version of an experience. So do tax your brains and use your judgement

I was not in the best of minds after losing a couple of friends to covid-19 and learning that a few more people I know are affected by Covid-19. Then the shock wave hit me with the knowledge of Best half and my children being affected by covid. Soon I had 3 very (but not serious condition) ill people at home and I was spared the infection. The onus fell on me to handle a situation that was at once scary and laborious. In such times, one turns towards kith and kin for comfort and succour; but from that direction only despair and doomsday messages were forthcoming. Not very helpful. One even sent a meme of a drowning person and a bystander suggesting to keep the spirits high. So with a first step (after rolling the sleeves), I plunged into covid home management. Through the days a few close friends kept watch over me. Just that they called or messaged me was enough to keep the spirit high.They even addressed my sense of humour. More I could not ask of them. I did not inform parents or close relatives about what has transpired. My mom would have taken another upavasam to make the gods suffer for my trouble. So, what do you do when corona hits home and you are the caretaker? Some learning and a lot of wisdom I learnt which I think can help. 

1. You need help and assistance. ASK and if needed pay. You cannot do this alone. Stop trying to be a hero. Heroes of this kind get people killed.
   
2. Stop being a jerk, get everyone at home tested and not just the ones showing symptoms 
3. Stop trying to figure out how they got infected. You will NOT find the answer. Even if you do, you might not like the answer.
   
4. Consult a doctor. No! Your internet search and forwarded info on whatsapp is not research. it is stupidity. Consult point #1.
   
5. Prepare a airy bright room with comforts (preferably with attached bathroom) like a laptop, wifi access, books for the infected people to isolate without feeling left out.
6. Quit whatsapp groups. Most of them dont help you when you need it. Even after you tell folks on it to stop sending doomsday msgs, criticism of country's handlng of covid, memes of bad taste; you are bombarded by them. If you are glutton for punishment, stay on. 
7. Stop following twitter, face book or what ever is your poison
8. Lock the liquor cabinet and throw the key; you don't have the luxury of going into a drunk stupor.
   
9. Get a lot of sanitizer.
10. Stock up on emergency foods and caffeine. 
11. Get a good quality thermometer and oxy-meter (your doctor will advice you to). Remember there is a difference between inexpensive and cheap. Choose your side carefully. You want to be sure of the reading.
12. Once you have the above two equipment; learn how to use them and understand the readings as advised by your doctor and not by your internet search or whatsapp university study. Stop being a jerk.
    
13. Don't stock oxygen, medicines unless told to do so.  It was quite difficult getting my hands on medicines since people without any issues were buying them handful at a time. You are an abominable waste of a human specimen if you hoard medication.
    
14. If possible get food delivered home. Not from a restaurant but from a home caterer. You would need a balanced diet too and not just fat and protein.
    
15. Keep washing used dishes. It is easier to manage a limited quantity of dishes than doing so in bulk.
    
16. Keep washing those clothes and sheets
17. Be hygienic and wash yourself too. A two day veshti is bad news.
    
18. You are not infected; you are not in isolation; so wear that damn mask all the time. It will not kill you and will also not make your mouth resemble a pithecanthropus. In case that is your primary worry; it is worth to your family to be rid of you.
19. When you get a break - sleep. Dont play selfie-selfie or some thing else with digital equipment. No you don't need stress busters. You will need sleep and rest.
    
20. Work can wait or will be done by some else. Call your manager or skip level and explain the situation and why you cannot attend to your employment obligations.
    
21. At this point, you family needs you full time. So much that you will have forgotten if you have had food.
22. Happiness comes in small sizes. Become a alpa-santoshi. Celebrate small things, laugh at idiot jokes. What ever helps you smile you through the day - do that
    

This event in life taught and reinforced the belief that the collective is stupid and a few wise people are the reason I want to continue existence. To these few people I do a "naked head respect showing" i.e. नतमस्तक नमन

1. A big thank you to my colleagues and  team members who ensured that I will not be missed and took on my employment obligations in addition to their own
   
2. A big thank you to Soni, Kunju Sane, Renu and Karan, Babu bhai who kept messaging, calling, delivering stuff  to me through my days. Everyone SHOULD have the friends like I do.
3. A big thank you to Dr. Sonali and Dr. Vijay Laxmi, our doctor who nagged me to keep sending signs of life in the form of daily temparature and oxygen level readings.
   
4. A big thank you to Suchita, the pharmacy lady who made sure that I did not fall short of medicines (although they were delayed by a dosage). Some way or other she made sure we got the medicines.
5. A big thank you to Sonali, the person who ensured we never stayed hungry.
   

Dadhood and how- handling child's ill health

I am going to start this post with a rant against GOD. Why did you create illness along with angels? Why for God's  sake why? When my son becomes ill, I am not sure who is affected more; him or us, his  parents. Why GOD why? Were it not suffice you that we appreciate the beauty of your creations as is? Why? why? why?

I am not sure if I am not able to handle my child's ill health or does his ill-health disable me. I become so disoriented and lost that nothing gets done by me and even if I try I make a mess. But I learnt something in this ordeal - "You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance and how much patience I can reap more". I proudly acknowledge that I have become more patient with him. When he was ill and blasted duty beckoned to me every morning, I was torn apart and wished I could be at both places at the same time. I am reminded of Golda meir - "At work, you think of the children you have left at home. At home, you think of the work you've left unfinished. Such a struggle is unleashed within yourself. Your heart is rent". A struggle which I much desire to leave, but alas cannot.  During his ill-health days. Anxiety is your friend and does not leave your side-couple my anxiety with my wife's and I have many ill-friends at that moment. The day is spent with ministering medicines and watch him scowl first and then bawl with dislike due to the taste. Further anxiety since his appetite is ruined with the medicine intake and feeding him is a session in pain and sound. Pain because I have to force feed him, sound because he bawls with every mouthful. After a couple of bites he does not want more and spits out stuff pushed in. You collect that, keep it aside and try with another morsel. Keep repeating it till the discarded pile is big enough to frustrate you. Why God why? I keep looking forward to his being better again driving me mad with his cyclonic destruction of peace and order. Blessed indeed am I that when I reach home, Prataprudhra beams me a smile, reaches for me desiring me to pick him up and gives me his cheek to kiss.

Give a little to love a child, and you get a great deal back

A Dad is born

Note: This post is moderated by my wife.

Days of waiting are finally over. We have been promoted to be parents.

Prelude: In April 2007 we had been married since 6 months and we were going for our much needed holiday at the end of May and my wife springs a surprise on me "We are not going. Cancel our tickets". I am surprised since I am the one always asking to cancel plans. And she gives it to me on a platter - "we are going to be parents". Wow thats a cracker of a surprise. I felt as if I had a few tots of Rum and I am on a high. That euphoria lasted a few months and the period of anticipation/expectation had started.

Nov 27 2007: Start date for us to be ready says the good doctor. So everyday visit to the doc or was it alternate days. Forgive me since I am still euphoric. Days pass and we cross December 11th still no baby. I am mighty worried for my wife and the child. The doctor is hapless "mother is not yet ready, but the baby is ready to come into this world. We will wait". Now what is that supposed to mean. I ask that to the good doctor and he gives me a few doctory jargons. Note them down, google them, ask my doctor friends and then try to get the meaning that the doctor wanted to convey. But trust me that did not alleviate my tension. On the contrary, the tension became all the more palpable. And then yet another doctor visit, a stress test and the baby decided he/she has had enough of dark places. The good Dottore advises "Caesarian" and now I am in my elements, I decide in 5 minutes and say, if you are ready to operate now, I am ok with it. No muhurat (Good time) for me, my wife and baby are more important. In goes the mom. argue with the good doc and said I want to be with my wife. Relenting to my stubbornness he lets me stand behind a curtain behind my wife. He warns me that it is not a pretty site. Like I care.

15 minutes pass by and no news yet. And suddenly bawls my kid, I yet don't know if its a boy or a girl. Hmmmmmp like I care. My first instinct, check wife, check kid and then sit down and cry, yes cry. Tears of Joy came running down.

I have just shown my wife this post and she sends me flying kisses.

By the way what is this post about?
Reams and reams have been written about how women change to mothers, the feelings that change run through them. I am going to write about what runs through me now at this moment sitting watch over our prince.
I am over-whelmed just sitting and watching him get comfy and sleep, sleep and sleep.

Now I know how it should feel like a dad. In days of yore (i.e. when we were born); in India, more often than not, the dads would not be there to see our birth. But I am glad that I decided to chuck that custom/tradition/practice or whatever else you call it. But I have a mighty problem on hand. My wifey can go on and on and describe how she feels about been a mom (But in actuality saying nothing), but I cannot even do that. But still I will try to express in words what emotions ran through me.
Moment 1: Baby is born - Concern for wife and baby and how are they doing. I know Baby is fine because he is bawling
Moment 2: Allowed to meet my wife - Contentment and a deep sigh of relief. Poor thing she has been through a lot of turmoil in her mind when the doc says she is not ready.
Moment 3: See my son - I see him and call him Rajakumara (Sanskrit for Prince and the moniker stuck). We are yet to name him. Rajakumara is just the first word that came to me when I saw him first.
Moment 4: I envelope my son in my hands. - My kid wraps my shirt lapels in his baby finger and opens his eyes at me. The flood gates open & tears of joy come running

These are the four discrete moments that I could recollect.

What are we calling him? What name do we give him?
There is a quaint tradition of ours which allows us to give three names to the baby, two are soon forgotten. I cannot say why the three, but it makes sense, One name by the parents, one by the paternal grand-parents and one by the maternal grand parents. And the name given by the parents is the one used always. So what is the name? Patience dear reader, this is my blog. So we had to decide on two names. Why two? We did not know the gender of the baby. They would not tell us and I did not want to know. So one name if the baby were to be a girl and the other if he were to be a boy. The name with which my rajakumara, my prince will henceforth be called is PratapaRudhra. Pratap means valour and Rudhra is the super God. (Wait for a theological post on what this super-God business is). So PratapaRudhra means the over-lord of valour. A prince should have a name fit for a King!!!

Where did I pick this name from?
Where else but from my hobby - Indian History. PratapRudhra was a mid-dynasty king of the Kakatiyas in South India.

Here are a few Links for those interested in history
http://prabhu.50g.com/southind/kakatiya/south_kakatiya.html
http://www.cambridge.org/catalogue/catalogue.asp?isbn=9780521254847
http://www.hinduonnet.com/thehindu/br/2003/03/04/stories/2003030400100300.htm

How do I pronounce the name?
Pr-a-ta-pa-Ru-dh-ra

Pr as in 'Price'
a as in 'a-round'
ta as in 'tar'
pa as in 'europa'
Ru as in 'Rumour'
dh as in "Dharma'
ra as in "era"

Now say it all once, Easy isn't it. :)

Ciao.